Poetry by Christianna Cannon

PRETEND

I'm lost inside myself
But I'll tell you what I've found
I've found a fountain in my mind
Where blood gushes from the ground
Do you ever wonder
What it's like to look around
And wonder how much longer
You can fight and hold your ground

I can feel them closing in
Personal demons, private hell
They're beating at me from the inside
They are madmen, I'm their cell
Do you ever wonder
What I hold behind this shell
What will happen if I let it crack
And would you live to tell

You are fooled into believing that I truly am your friend
I wish my lies would all come true, because I'm just pretend
I live inside this grand façade with wounds that never mend
I am the Great Pretender and one day I'll bring your end

As you ignore the lust in me
The monster drains the priest
It's my human side you cling to
While it dies, to say the least
Do you ever wonder
What drives me to destroy and feast
Remember what I am inside
I'm a nocturnal beast

You are fooled into believing that I truly am your friend
I wish my lies would all come true, because I'm just pretend
I live inside this grand façade with wounds that never mend
I am the Great Pretender and one day I'll bring your end

When you hold my hand
For a moment I can believe
That everything's all right again
That I am innocent again
But I still feel them closing in
And then reality strikes
I was never innocent and nothing was ever all right

I don't understand
What it's like to cringe at gore
Or torment that I bring about
While searching for some more
Do you ever wonder
If God was a carnivore
I fall toward synchronizing
Breathing with my wicked core

You are fooled into believing that I truly am your friend
I wish my lies would all come true, because I'm just pretend
I live inside this grand façade with wounds that never mend
I am the Great Pretender and one day I'll bring your end

circa 2000-01.

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